Well it is almost here again.
This year I am rounding off the first year of my thirties-I am turning 31.
That means I have had nearly a year to contemplate this “whole 30s thing” and I think I got a handle on it.
I wanted to write this post to express some of my insecurities, to talk about living a fulfilled life (outside of the identity of “mother”) and to share some of my feelings on timeless beauty. I am so inspired everyday by all the amazing women who I have connected with through this blog and Instagram, and I want to offer my little piece of love and encouragement to every single one of you who reads these words.
So a few thoughts and musings as I dive head first into this decade:
Know Yourself Outside of your Roles
I have known people who have rigidly defined themselves by the job they have, or by their role as wife or mother and I will tell you right now it is a losing game. Identities in life are fluid, they are constantly changing and to become so caught up in your identity as it relates to a certain life role (job, family, etc) is setting yourself up for disaster.
As my son gets older (he will be 8 in august!) and continues to explore his independence, I have found myself more and more exploring some of my own interests that I had long forgot about after becoming a mother.
From the beginning I never did motherhood like other people. My life and my interests were always important to me and I knew I would never play the martyr role when it came to raising my son (I don’t see how it would have benefitted either of us to do so)
When I would travel with Matteo at 4 years old and people would say to me “what a waste! He is so young he wont even remember!” I found myself thinking… “ME. I am traveling for me! This lucky boy is just along for the ride!”
Don’t forget yourself, and don’t lose yourself in your roles. They are temporary, and they could use the presence of a person confident in their worth OUTSIDE of them.
On Loving Yourself
I could write THE book on insecurities.
That being said, it is quite curious that it is easier now, as a mother-with saggy tits and stretch marks-to love myself, than it ever was at any other time in my life.
Other peoples opinions of me-outside of the people I love-are of so little consequence…
It is SO freeing.
Loving yourself means going for it. It means writing the book you always wanted to write, painting, dancing…whatever! It is embracing what you love free of judgement and based on your abilities, not on what is looking back at you in the mirror.
That is true self love.
In my life I have been around people who have shamed me for taking care of myself, lets call it…
#beautyshaming (pssst. pass it on!)
I hate this.
I think it is a woman’s right to look good, that means no matter how many children you have, or what your responsibilities in life, you have every damn right to go get your nails done, go to the spa and take care of YOURSELF.
Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
Life and Beauty in your 30s
It is such a lovely surprise that it is finally in my 30s that I am embracing makeup.
Am I insecure about the wrinkles starting to show up on my face? Yes. But I am not ready yet to throw myself into the botox game.
30, I feel, is this unique time that I can just have fun with it. When it comes to the makeup on my face or the clothes I wear, I just don’t want to be confined anymore by what other people think.
On Celebrating Yourself
I am never one to shy away from celebrating myself. I starting my 30s right-jumping out of a plane in Dubai and I don’t feel like the celebration is going to stop anytime soon.
Life is so short.
I have this intense feeling about the finite nature of life and I don’t want to waste one second of my living and breathing times worrying, being sad, being unhappy or being too scared to accomplish everything that I always wanted in life.
This is a big year for me.
I am working on bringing to life some of my biggest dreams and I am so happy I have great people in my life who love and support me, through it all <3